Meditation

Since I am starting a bi-weekly meditation group at The Center For Healing and Integration, I thought I would share my experience with meditation and what it’s done for me. 

Through the last few years, I have developed a pretty regular meditation routine. I remember thinking at the beginning that I could never meditate like Buddhists or yogis who can sit in meditation for hours, so what was the point, and how could it help me? 

In 2019, I had my daughter. It was a huge mental health struggle for me, adjusting to being a parent and navigating all the hormonal changes in my body was taking every bit of energy from me, and the effort of it left me constantly overwhelmed. When the pandemic hit in 2020, I was suddenly cut off from just about all of my support network. I had a partner who worked in food production, and his job started to take him away for around 60 hours a week, and he often worked seven days a week. I was lonely, I was depressed, I was anxious, and I had a nine-month-old baby depending on me for everything. I couldn’t take her to the library or a friend's house. I couldn’t have people over, and I felt like the walls were closing in on me. There were parts of myself that were screaming out in pain. The world was finally quiet enough for me to hear it. I had to slow down and listen to what was going on inside.  

I did what a lot of people in similar positions do: I started therapy and got on antidepressants. It helped a lot, unpacking my childhood trauma in therapy, and the added support of antidepressants got me through what I believe was the worst depression of my life, but something was still missing. There was a hole inside me that no medication or amount of introspection was helping with. A quiet loneliness that kept me feeling hollow, even as my day-to-day moods started to improve. Like many people during the pandemic, I downloaded the app TikTok, and there I found something that seemed to wake up a part of me inside. I started to learn more about spirituality through different creators on the app. I found people with similar trauma to me and learned about inner child work, the nervous system, and the benefits of meditation. So I tried it. I started meditating to work with my inner child and see what I could do to heal.

At first, it was a real struggle. My concentration was terrible, my anxiety would rise up, and my body couldn’t sit still in safety. My nervous system was in a constant state of activation, and I got up from my meditations often feeling more dysregulated than when I had begun. So I tried guided meditations in my headphones, and that seemed to help, but I still struggled and struggled to pay attention and listen to the guidance without my mind trying to go off and try to solve one problem or another in my life. So I got on the internet and started searching for meditation classes. That’s where I found The Center for Healing and Integration. There was a group meditation starting up in a couple of weeks that was free and not too far from where I lived. 

The first time I came out, I felt so nervous. It was a small place located in a basement office with a law firm above. I had come to the center one time before for a yoga class, so I knew where to go, but my anxiety was still at an all-time high in general, and new experiences were extremely unsettling. But I did it, I showed up, and I had a great meditation. There is something special about doing a group meditation and sharing the energy and intentions with others in the room. I don’t remember the exact meditation that we had that night, but it became a routine for me. Meditation Mondays at the center were one of the best parts of my week. I began to make friends with other people who were regulars at the center, and the best part was, when I tried meditating at home, it became easier and easier. It was like starting an exercise routine for my mind and nervous system; the more I practiced, the easier it became! 

It was almost three years ago that my meditation journey started. It’s waxed and waned over the years, and there are days that I still struggle, but those are the days I find that I need it most; it’s made such a huge difference in my life. I am more in tune and connected with my body, nervous system, and internal world. I am so much more aware of my emotional state, my thoughts, and the patterns I find myself repeating that I am ready to let go of. I did eventually (and with the help of my doctor and therapist) stop taking the antidepressants. Through meditation, I have learned so much about who I am, underneath the childhood trauma, the patterns, vices, and labels I had given myself. 

 Meditation is not a “cure-all” that will solve all our problems, but it's a part of the puzzle of being human that works for me. It’s as crucial as exercising my body, eating well, and getting enough sleep, but let's get into the science surrounding it for a moment. 

Meditation research has shown many benefits of regular meditation practice. Including, but not limited to: 

• Reduced Stress- Reducing stress can lead to improved health in pretty much every aspect of life. 

• Improved focus and memory- Meditation strengthens the brain's ability to concentrate and improves the attention span. The reduced stress and improved focus lead to better memory and cognitive function.

• Better sleep- Meditation can reduce the time it takes to fall asleep and improve overall sleep quality.

• Less Pain- Both physical and emotional pain may be reduced with meditation. Meditation can cause the tension in muscles to relax and improve emotional regulation, leading to a more regulated emotional state and improved outlook on life.

• Less anxiety- A regular meditation practice may reduce anxiety by calming the nervous system and reducing the amount of stress hormones in the body.

• Less depression- Mindfulness meditation can help manage negative thought patterns. A regular practice can also change the brain, increasing grey matter and reducing the activity in the amygdala, where we process experiencing stressful situations. 

These are just some of the scientifically researched benefits of meditation. My personal experience with it has given me a stronger connection with my spiritual guides, helped me hear and understand my intuition, shown me my personal psychic and metaphysical abilities, as well as get to know all the facets of my personality. I’ve learned so much about myself just spending time with my soul and going inward to speak to the inner children that dwell within me. Slowing down and listening to our hearts can lead us exactly where we need to go in times of indecision. I’m so grateful for the people who have been with me on this journey, but it was me, my higher self, as well as just this woman who walks around on Earth doing her best, that has given me a new perspective on life. 

Since 2020, and my spiritual awakening, I have maintained a pretty regular meditative practice, and my life has gotten exponentially better. It is a keystone, along with caring for my body, working with therapists to navigate my mental health, and dedication to a spiritual practice that has led me to a life I don’t feel afraid to live any longer. I still feel sadness, pain, fear, and anger, but now I find the levels of joy, excitement, love, and peace in my life are at a depth I never would have thought possible. I know I would not be who I am today without learning who I want to be. Through meditation, I was able to discover myself profoundly and start to heal the parts of me that were hurting or lost. I am so grateful for all it’s given me and I love to hear about the experiences of others who have started a regular meditation practice.

If you live in the Cincinnati area and would like to join me every other Friday for a group meditation, please reach out! It is free with donations accepted starting Friday, May 30th 2025. Check out the Facebook page:

As well as my Facebook page: